Sunday, December 22, 2013

Why I just love my friends

Everyone has their own quirks that make them unique in certain ways and other things that lump them into social circles. I have truly been blessed for the most part in the friend department. I am really bad at ending any relationships on my own so I am happy that those that don't deserve my friendship have pretty much weeded themselves out of my life. The friends I have now are amazing in so many ways, there is no way I could name them all. But here is what I look for in my friends and have found in them.
      Honesty is my number one thing. Whenever I know someone has lied to me, even about little things I just don't want to be around them anymore. Like if you haven't left your house yet when we have plans then don't text me you are on your way. I am a very understanding person so there really is never a reason to lie to me. Even when I am mad about something I am the type who will listen to your side and try to talk it out.
     Nonjudgmental is my number two! I had a "friend" who I hung out with for years but any time I did something that wasn't "her way" she would get pissed at me and act so childish. Refusing to answer my calls, texts, or facebook but then she would text me like page after page of chewing me out cause she didn't think I should have done something the way I did. She was always on my ass about something so to avoid hearing the same gripes about what I need to change about myself I felt I had to break my number one rule and lie a little to get her off my back. When she ended our friendship out of the blue I was really hurt for a while and even still I have teared up while reading her "dear john" email she sent me cause she couldn't even be  bothered to tell me personally that she didn't want to see or hear from me again after hanging out for seven years. But once the hurt subsided I realized I felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders, her constantly watching my every move and questioning me on my finances even though it wasn't like she ever helped me with bills or anything I always believed that is not the place of a friend. A friend should be there for you and accept the totality of what makes you, you. Still it's a hard concept for too many people.
     Next is having your own opinions! Of course when looking for a friend you want to have some things in common with the person, but that doesn't mean it has to be everything! I have met some people in the past that you can just tell they really, really want to be your friend for some reason. Whether they think you are so cool, nice, pretty, can help them out in some way, or just really lonely. I call those people "yes men" cause it doesn't matter what you are saying they are gonna agree with you. Most of your conversations go like me: blah blah blah    Them: Really?! Me too!! and in your mind you are thinking there is no way this person has done and thought the same exact thing as me this many times. Why are they sucking up to me? I am not all that. But on the same note when my friends do have a different opinion from mine they can back up their reasons for why they think that way. Whether it be personal history, actual links to sites where they had read up on whatever, or maybe just something their family has taught them so it's just accepted that way. And they present themselves in a way that can be taken seriously but doesn't put down a person that doesn't believe the same way. I just love that!
     Also, you gotta have an interesting personality! Something about you just has to pop! Are you really into movies, like me? That's my thing, I used to have an extensive movie collection and love certain actors and finding B movies that are awesome but didn't get the recognition it deserved and then having every friend who hangs out watch it with me. You could be into books, comics, history, tattoos, piercings, vintage and pin up stuff, weird and sick stuff online, or whatever.. I really am not picky as long as you are not a bore.
     Finally, you have to be intelligent and compassionate. I have helped and fed the homeless I have met at gas stations or walmart. I have given away clothes and toys without expecting anything in return. I love animals and the dogs I have had were rescues. If you need someone to help with something and I can then I will, I won't say I am busy when I am not, I won't ignore phone calls or texts of someone asking if they can talk to me, and if I have money to loan then I won't give a second thought to handing it over to someone in need. For the intelligent part, all those stupid pass it on things on facebook, I actually google whatever it is first most times and make sure it's not fraud before I will pass anything on to my fb friends. Missing children and pets sure if it looks recent and legit. All those "warnings" like tell all women you know about this new thing people are doing to do whatever to them.. all and I mean ALL of those I have found to be nothing more than old urban legends that get passed around as a true story every couple of years. The owners of Facebook have come out numerous times saying that all those pics asking you to like or share so whoever will have money donated to them thru facebook is false! The owners have come out and said that they will never use fb to do donations for anyone. The people who start those are stealing pictures of others without permission and then asking you to like or share cause you can get paid by facebook if you have a public run site if you get so many likes and shares then different companies can pay you to advertise on your page. So there ya go!

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